Truly Madly Deeply

I miss Spain an incredible amount. When we first left, I was one of the only ones who wasn't counting down to our departure. It seemed that everyone had some reason to come home: a boyfriend, school, best friend, family, etc. I had 3/4 of those to come home to, as well, however, I did not want to. I was contemplating not coming home at all. But I didn't know what I would have done, had I not. I didn't want to start school again (especially 6 days after I got home), but if I didn't, I wouldn't have known what else I would do.

So here's the deal: I have this deep hurt in my body when I think about my life in Spain. I get this horrible stomachy pit that just...is so deep. I feel like I belong there. Like I need to get back there. I feel so...lost without Barcelona. It's such a bizarre feeling because as much as I was looking forward to going there, I didn't expect to fall so hard. I guess I can't even put my finger on what I miss about it...I miss everything. I miss my life, my friends, my school (but not the classmates. Haha). It has just been really hard being home and jumping back into life here. I know I have to stay here for 2 years, due to school, but I am really really trying to find a way to go back. Should I take time off and teach English? Should I try to go next summer? What do I do to "quench my thirst," if you will. I have this huge emptiness, and I know it will be filled by going back to my second home.

Spain. How I miss you so.

I have really been thinking about what to do with my life. Now that I am back in nursing, I know I made the right decision. I love nursing and everything about it (ok, by everything, I do not mean all the hard work in school. Yuck.), but going back has made me realize that I truly should be doing nursing. Anywho, I have all kinds of ideas. I was thinking about doing a missions trip next summer. I need to be back for Camp Quality, in July, but I was looking at a month-long trip to Swaziland. I have also thought of maybe joining the Peace Corps after I get out of school. As much as I love nursing and know it's what I should do, I am in no rush to get a job as a nurse right away. I just have this itch to travel, and I need to do it. I also have been praying a lot about missions, and I really feel that is one area that God has been calling me my whole life. Then, after all of that, I'm going to be a nurse in Pediatric Oncology.

That said, I am going to dream about Barcelona. I am probably going to cry, in the process. I really, truly, deeply (Truly madly deeply? Savage Garden.) miss it, and I have this very very special place in my heart for Spain.

Please, send me back.