Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I am totally awkward when it comes to boys I actually like.

I am really just...not smooth. Seriously sometimes I say something to a guy, and I think, "it's not wonder guys don't dig me!" I tend to say really awkward and stupid things when I like a guy or ambinterestes. Fir example, I ran into a hot doctor at work once, and the only thing I could think to say to him was "rough day??" because he seemed frazzled. Needless to say, he looked at me strangely, and just walked away.

And I don't blame him! I can be super awkward sometimes. The joy in all of this, or maybe I should say joys because I can now see multiple good things about my weirdness, is this: 1.) I am blessed in that I don't really get embarrassed. Sure, there have been a few times I have wanted to hide under a rock after something I have said thatbi shouldn't have, but I certainly don't dwell on it, and I brush it off...sometimes I even learn from it. Yes, me, learn...weird I know. 2.) I think my awkwardness will be a positive quality in my future hopefully forever relationship. My dream is to find a guy that is attracted to the silly things I say when I am flustered or nervous. If anything, he will think it's cute that he has this effect on me?

It's funny because I can totally flirt and say all the right things with a guy I'm NOT totally interested in. It's also funny because I can plan what I'm going to say to a guy that I am interested in, and what actually comes out of my mouth is literally the most opposite from smooth that a person can get. I used to get really frustrated that I can never seem to say anything that I planned on...but if I did that, I wouldn't be me. Seriously, whenever I tell my friends about my most recent so-not-suave endeavor, the reaction is ALWAYS: haha Kelly...that is so you.

So this is me embracing my horrible luck with being smooth with guys, and here's to hoping that one of these days, I will find someone that, too, embraces me. All parts of me.

Sidenote: for those who are wondering, the inspiration from tonight's entry was from a conversation I had with a coworker that of course did not go even remotely as planned. And this is me being totally okay withnit...and even laughing about it. Cheers.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The end is near...

So, I'm sitting here watching 30 Rock (Season 1, just started), and uploading cds to my iTunes. Super interesting right? No. Not interesting. I will say the most interesting thing about this is that I just realized I watched the entire season 2 before I watched season 1...silly Netflix, it put "Recently Watched: 30 Rock Season 2" BEFORE season 1, so I just clicked on that and kept watching. Eh well.

I have to say, I have the worst case of senioritis ever. I have NO interest in school this semester, and I have yet to actually pay attention in class. This is what happens: I go in and sit down, I play Angry Birds on my phone, I check Facebook on my phone, repeat. Then I leave. Seriously. The sad part is that I did pretty well on my first 2 exams so far, which is no motivation to actually study. I will probably have to find a new game to replace Angry Birds though, as I have beaten almost the entire game with 3 stars on all the levels. That's what happens when you make time to have on your hands.

As today is Wednesday, that means I did nothing all day (pretty much what I'm doing now), Jazzercised, and went to dinner with friends from Jazzercise. I love Wednesdays for this very reason! It makes time fly when I know that I have an AWESOME "Hump" day. I really truly hate when people say hump day, so I'm not totally sure why I threw that in there. Eh well. I have to say, the conversation at dinner got a little scary when I started to realize how soon real life begins. I've been in school for 19 years, what the heck do I do when I have no more school to go to? I'm not sad about it, at all, but it's just hard to know what to expect. Life without school. Even saying that sounds really bizarre, but I am really excited to start working and get rid of school. I can't wait to just: Work. Live. Sleep. Party! That's pretty much the plan of my life after school...

But seriously. It's scary to think that I, Kelly Doyle, will be a Registered Nurse, working at SOME hospital somewhere (in New York) Thank God I have 3 more months to come to terms with that little fact. Also, I have really been questioning what kind of nursing I want to do. Working in Labor & Delivery last semester really threw me for a loop. I've always wanted to work in Pediatric Oncology, but now, I kind of want to work in L&D. The issue with that is that it's a specialized kind of nursing, so if I were to start with L&D, that's probably the only thing I would do...forever. And I don't like the sound of forever. Working in the Float Pool at NCH has allowed me to see all the different aspects of pediatrics, and to be honest, I really like the following: Medsurg (ortho, post-op,GI) and Renal. For whatever reason, I really like Renal (kidneys). The issue is that I have been starting to really enjoy watching the kids get better...not seeing them for weeks/months on end, and knowing they are going to go home, better, healthy, happy, etc. I'm not saying I don't want to do oncology at all (afterall, there is a reason it's been laid on my heart all this time), I just am willing to explore other options. I'm confusing myself as I speak (type), so really, I just need to get a job. Period. I don't want to work with adults at all, so PLEASE GOD, please please please, allow me to get a job in pediatrics. Please. Please God. Amen.

I'm getting really discouraged with this whole weight loss/exercise thing. Really, I enjoy Jazzercise so much, but I just am not able to go as much as I want to. I'd like to go 4-5 times a week, but with school/work, I am only able to go 2-3 times. I just feel like progress is slow and although I am feeling good most of the time, the numbers are just not going down like I'd like. I seem to be kind of stuck around the same number, each week a little above or a little below. I just want a big chunk to fall off, you know? 5 lbs in one week would be nice! Haha. I just need to keep reminding myself that: I'm still doing better than I would have before, and I FEEL better, which should be a lot of what matters anyway. Also, I don't have a ton to lose, but I'd like to get to my goal, as I know how great that would feel! Eep. I just need to keep trucking.

This entry really served no purpose other than just getting my thoughts out and saying exactly what is on my mind right this instant. I just had a random memory from when I was in Spain, traveling to Italy to see a good friend of mine, and I totally missed my flight. I'm not totally sure what made me think of it, but I remember sprinting through the airport, as I had overslept (or just mis-timed my getting ready/trip time), and had to wait until the evening to get there. I love to fly. I can't wait to go to California in a few weeks with my parents and brother! It's going to be pretty flipping awesome. I love airports, flying, traveling, adventure...eep! California. I'll see you soon!