I am really just...not smooth. Seriously sometimes I say something to a guy, and I think, "it's not wonder guys don't dig me!" I tend to say really awkward and stupid things when I like a guy or ambinterestes. Fir example, I ran into a hot doctor at work once, and the only thing I could think to say to him was "rough day??" because he seemed frazzled. Needless to say, he looked at me strangely, and just walked away.
And I don't blame him! I can be super awkward sometimes. The joy in all of this, or maybe I should say joys because I can now see multiple good things about my weirdness, is this: 1.) I am blessed in that I don't really get embarrassed. Sure, there have been a few times I have wanted to hide under a rock after something I have said thatbi shouldn't have, but I certainly don't dwell on it, and I brush it off...sometimes I even learn from it. Yes, me, learn...weird I know. 2.) I think my awkwardness will be a positive quality in my future hopefully forever relationship. My dream is to find a guy that is attracted to the silly things I say when I am flustered or nervous. If anything, he will think it's cute that he has this effect on me?
It's funny because I can totally flirt and say all the right things with a guy I'm NOT totally interested in. It's also funny because I can plan what I'm going to say to a guy that I am interested in, and what actually comes out of my mouth is literally the most opposite from smooth that a person can get. I used to get really frustrated that I can never seem to say anything that I planned on...but if I did that, I wouldn't be me. Seriously, whenever I tell my friends about my most recent so-not-suave endeavor, the reaction is ALWAYS: haha Kelly...that is so you.
So this is me embracing my horrible luck with being smooth with guys, and here's to hoping that one of these days, I will find someone that, too, embraces me. All parts of me.
Sidenote: for those who are wondering, the inspiration from tonight's entry was from a conversation I had with a coworker that of course did not go even remotely as planned. And this is me being totally okay withnit...and even laughing about it. Cheers.